You see in May I was living in Manhattan, working full time, living with roommates in a lovely brownstone on the upper west side, going on runs in Central Park. I was planning a MUCH anticipated wedding to the most amazing and let's.face.it handsome, godly man, or as I tell him...the handsomest :).
I am currently wrapping up my job for Redeemer in the coming weeks. I've been working remotely since the wedding in May minus a few weeks spent in NYC in July. I live in Myrtle Beach and not to intentionally offend but on its best day this place is the Redneck Riviera and I could stand not to ever come back. Sorry if you just love this place. I do have this wonderful husband I mentioned above who is working 16 hour days and should be the one writing a blog about how hard things are for him instead of me :). He is most certainly the icing and the cake and loves me and Jesus really well. He is worth my mini-identity crisis. A little side note: I will add that he asked me last week if I would show him how to set up a blog. I fell for this little joke as I started to explain and then he continued and said the name of his blog would be, "My wife: the wimp" and of course I laughed until I cried and then smacked him a little.
You see I'm not writing simply to get your pity....well that may be part of this...I'm only human ;) but more to share what I think I'm learning. I say think because it isn't all clear just yet. I'm realizing all the labels I've carried for so many years. Labels that I grew to like, feel proud of. Whether they be things I didn't even earn like Southerner or Upper West Sider. Or labels I've worn that are more like war wounds like Single. Even the labels that sometimes feel like battle scars I don't think I realized the pride that was just underneath them. Where I've lived, my heritage, my job title & responsibilities have been telling me who I am more than I ever realized.
I know a lot of verses that tell me my true identity. Daughter of the King, co-heir with Christ, new creation, apple of God's eye, free, adopted, in the light, ambassador, made in His image.
I guess what I'm working through right now is how much do I rely on those eternal truths and how often I've held onto the glitz & glamour of my Manhattan address and my role in ministry.
As I lose and gain new labels during this season of incredible transition, I'm trying to press down into my heart the labels that are eternal and from God's Word. My address will continue to change as we make a move to the Charlotte area in the fall. My job with Redeemer will be completed by that point and I hope to be starting another job (pray for that!!).
I honestly cannot complain about where I am. I prayed for Corey for so many years. I cried for him. He's definitely God's best for me and I love doing life with him even if it has been in Myrtle Beach :). The transitions will continue to hit us and you can pray with me that I hold onto the lasting truths and labels more strongly than the temporary ones.
4 comments:
You'll be all right. You combined change in identity, lifestyle, location once. Congratulations, you've already discovered one of newlywed dirty little secrets...the struggle of identity. Finding a new self while not losing all of the old self and not feeling guilty, ungrateful/unfaithful for struggling with your sense of self. Labels aren't always bad. They can provide a sense of place and stability when you feel like you have little of either. And you have labels bc though eternally your identity is in Christ, labels also tell the story of your earthly self. Don't forget all the labels JC donned while walking this earth. Don't eschew it all.
...location all at once. Fat fingers can't keep up with my brain.
You're right. The transition to the new life of being married with all the new things that can get thrown at you at once, esp with the moves, starting over in new places, etc, Its quite the way to discover who we are in Christ in a way we never have before. I hear that Sister!
I'm not really anonymous, its Ty, just couldn't figure it out.
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